The Boomer Couch“Showing Up for Your Life”As younger Boomers, we were all about living in the present. We sang with the Grass Roots, “Sha-la-la-la-la-la, live for today,” talked about smelling the roses, and scoffed at the meaningless preoccupations of the “establishment.” John Lennon spoke his now-famous words, “Life is what happens to us while we’re busy making other plans.” Since that time, we have become the establishment, and often find ourselves more concerned with making a living than with living. The very practices we popularized in our youth--meditation, yoga, voluntary simplicity--are the ones we seek now for our salvation. I think we still see the essence of good living as the ability to not just live, but to show up for what’s happening. While this might have seemed easy when we were singing freedom songs, we now know from experience that it is not. Try practicing mindfulness meditation, allowing the ever-changing present to be the object of your consciousness, and you realize that awareness of living is a discipline, not a constant. As someone who has consistently failed meditation practice, I have developed a different way to jolt myself into present-mindedness. I watch movies. I have discovered that the best way for me to show up for my life is to step out of it regularly, to become an observer and move myself into that post-cinema consciousness where I can take a fresh view on my own story. After all, it was a moviemaker--Woody Allen--who said, “80% of success is showing up.” No one was better than he at transforming day-to-day neuroses and struggles into entertainment. Many of our problems stem from being too close to the action and taking ourselves too seriously. We get caught up in a tiny portion of the story and, to quote a more recent song by U2, get “stuck in a moment.” When we do this, we lose sight of our humanity, miss out on the humor and irony of life, and forget how we got here and where we are going. Stepping out, whether through cinema, literature, a walk in the fresh air or a meditation session, gives us a vantage point. From this vantage point, we can enjoy a wider view of our own lives. If you’re interested in putting your own life on the big screen, see if movie meditation is the practice for you. Here’s how:
The moments after a movie are magical, because you bring a cinematic view with you. The sight of a leaf falling, the cool breeze against your face—such simple events take on more significance and life; perhaps because you are still as present as you were in the theatre. As you practice this cinematic perspective, you’ll become more present for your own life and will probably find it much more entertaining. Seeing your life as a movie will help you:
So you may be intrigued, but are probably still asking yourself, “How in the world can I justify taking three hours out of my week for a movie meditation?” I’ll answer that question with a simple, and perhaps familiar, story: Two neighbors set about their day’s task of chopping wood. They start at the same time, but one chops continuously while the other stops chopping at regular intervals. At the end of the day, the one who chopped continuously notices that his neighbor’s pile is higher and asks how this could be. The neighbor with the higher pile replies, “I stopped to sharpen my axe.” I think this is what a break with the big screen can do: sharpen your focus, your senses and your perspective on life. It’s cheaper than psychotherapy, and you get to eat popcorn during the session! Laurie A. Helgoe, Ph.D. is a psychologist and author of the Boomer’s Guide to Dating (Again) Penguin/Alpha, and The Anxiety Answer Book (Sourcebooks). She practices and resides in Charleston, WV. Dr. Helgoe can be reached through her website at www.wakingdesire.com. |